Altitude Sickness

It's been some time now since I allowed myself a bit of time to write something here. Besides the business of the season, I have been moving into my new home and slowly setting things up along with starting a pretty demanding semester at school. Needless to say between work, school, and running errands, I've had little time to actually inhale. But be the conditions as they may, I will survive.
There hasn't been all that much time for reflection lately... kinda starts taking it's toll after a while. I've begun to feel as if some things are spinning out of control. It's like swinging a bag of marbles around too fast. Eventually the bag breaks and the marbles scatter. Then you're left with an empty bag and well... no marbles to play with. Not to mention a big mess to clean up.
Of all questions to ask, I've begun asking myself where do I go from here. I have my own place, I've managed to keep priorities moving, but what's next? I've warned myself not to complicate life so much that I trap myself in my own machinery, but here I am... feeling trapped. Still, this is but a moment of pessimism within the natural state of hope.
I've always been very good about planning for the future. Or at least meeting my goals. Unfortunately, a lot of them recently have been along the lines of climbing mountains. What I mean by that is I'm working my way up to something. The pisser is I haven't really planned for the descent. No one stays on top, at least not forever. I sure as hell don't want to. Thin air you know, hard to breathe. One step at a time I suppose. I just don't want to end up the fool on the hill...

The Beatles - Fool on the Hill

Day after day, alone on the hill,
The man with the foolish grin is keeping perfectly still.
But nobody wants to know him,
They can see that he's just a fool.
And he never gives an answer .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Well on his way, his head in a cloud,
The man of a thousand voices, talking perfectly loud.
But nobody ever hears him,
Or the sound he appears to make.
And he never seems to notice .....

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

And nobody seems to like him,
They can tell what he wants to do.
And he never shows his feelings,

But the fool on the hill,
Sees the sun going down.
And the eyes in his head,
See the world spinning around.

Originally published Saturday, January 28, 2006