Our Own Little Worlds

We all seem to live in our own little worlds. No matter how much effort we make to see things as a whole, take in every perspective and try to make sense of what we see, we are still bound by the eyes we see through. When we try to see things from someone else's point of view all we really do is shift our natural perceptions, but we are still bound by them, and we'll still see it our own way.
Everyone screws up. We make mistakes because we live in a flawed consciousness. I fcuk up regularly. I mean well of course. I like to think that makes the difference... at least to me. Others may not care.
For some reason I'm at a point where I really don't feel like writing these things anymore. Sure I could have tons to say, but beyond entertainment value I don't kid myself that anyone really cares. I really don't know. I haven't found it yet.
Although it's rapidly becoming an overplayed song, Jack Johnson has got one out I like called "Good People." The whole thing pretty much poses the question of where have all the role models and positive influences in our media and society gone. No shit. I know there are other meanings in the song, but you get the picture.
Blame it on capitalism, blame it on consumerism. The whole mentality of "I want" or "what's next" is very powerful nowadays. Of course, once again, this is all how I see it. And I am a victim too. Oh how true this is. Me and my house, and my retail management, like I need this shit. My only saving grace with it all is that I don't completely feel like it's all for me. But one way or another, no matter what we do, I guess it really all seems to be for "me." That damn personal sense is there to stay.
So what I'm getting at is that, since we are stuck with our own perceptions about things, all we can do is look to our hearts for guidance. We are all out for ourselves, but it is possible to gain from sacrifice. I had some jerk today make a real sarcastic comment to me when I was unable to bargain with him on a price of an item he wanted. I could have simply walked away, left him looking elsewhere, just as miserable as when he walked in. I helped him though, gave him a reasonable discount, and off he went. Chances are he was still miserable when he left, but that was a result of his own perception. Still, I at least saw that what I had done was exercise some emotional restraint and compassion for this poor asshole who couldn't get out of his own miserable way.
So when I think of Jack Johnson's song, I tend to think what he's really asking is where has all the compassion gone. This is not to say that I consider myself, by any means, a good person. I'm just as selfish a jerk as any of them most of the time. But the difference, if there is any, is in the effort. I do think about these things, I try and like outside myself sometimes. Bad shit happens to everyone, the rain falls equally on the just and unjust. One sees miserable weather, and the other sees a cycle of seasons and new life. One sees a sunless sky, the other sees the answers to someone's prayers.
But life often moves too fast for us to see any of this. What we've begun to see is simply that it's raining - maybe it will flood, maybe the drought is over - maybe there'll be accidents on the road. We may see beautiful sunsets, we may even acknowledge them, but will we stand in awe and wonder where our capacity to perceive such beauty comes from? Will we look up at the stars and wonder how vast the universe must be, or what eternity really is?

Well... I used to anyway.

Originally posted Wednesday, November 23, 2005